Sweet Remembrance

As I've been going through the boxes in my closet, I found a tape that I had recorded of my grandmother recalling her early childhood years. It has been quite a few years since I've heard her kind, soft voice. 

In 1991, I found a job in Anaheim which was about a half an hour away from where I lived. My grandma would drive me to work because I was not able to drive due to my visual impairment. When my grandma would tell me stories about her past, she would conclude by saying, "I should write a book someday." So, one day, I asked her if she would mind if I recorded her telling stories about her childhood. We were both eager to get this started. In the mornings, on the way to work, I would turn on the tape recorder and she would start relaying her stories. I am thinking seriously about starting another blog entitled "The Adventures of Pauline." This was her middle name. If she were alive, she would probably kill me for using this title. Actually, she would probably flash me one of her famous grimaces and express her dislike for the title. As of yet, I have not heard any protests from her :) , so that is going to be the title. 

As I sit here now listening to this tape, I am feeling a warm smile in my heart, and I'm missing her greatly. 

                                             The new blog is being created in loving memory of 

                                                            Vickey Pauline Wilson

                                                                  1934 - 2000

Guardian of my mind

In grade school and in church, I would hear such phrases as "Garbage In" "Garbage Out" or "As a man thinketh so is he."

I have been making a concerted effort to be careful as to what I expose myself to. There have been occasions where someone has told me a bunch of negative information about an individual, and I leave the conversation feeling soiled with negative energy.

Uplifting music, positive social interactions, exercise, and reminiscing on happy occasions usually help uplift my spirits. There were be more blogs to follow on this subject.

Family Unity

As I mature into my adulthood years, I have come to realize that interpersonal relationships are vitally important for happiness in this life. Reconnecting with my family has become a priority for 2014.

After my grandparents passed away, I discontinued interacting with my uncle and his family. In order to protect myself from being hurt any further.

                                                         Twelve years passed.

I believe that God and my grandmother are responsible for the changes that have taken place in my heart and thoughts. A strong inclination came upon me to reconnect with my family. Initially, I was nervous and apprehensive because I did not know how they would respond to my reaching out to them. Much to my pleasant surprise, they accepted me with open arms.

Last month, I spent three weeks with them. I enjoyed reminiscing with them about the past. We shared funny stories about grandma and grandpa and accounts of when my cousins and I were growing up. Even though this was an awesome experience, I felt a twinge of guilt for letting anger and resentment consume me for so long.

Today, I continue to make an effort to not let anger and resentment well up in me. There are times when an anger provoking memory rears up its ugly head. I can feel a wave of hostile emotion well up in me. When this occurs, I pray and focus on more pleasant memories.

Since I've returned home, my mom and my uncle and aunt and I have been having a daily devotional Bible study in the mornings.

At present time, there are forces that are trying to break up our family unity. One of my cousins is really struggling right now. Her husband has been playing games with her mind to the point in which she tried to kill herself. Unfortunately, she has bought into his lies, and she has become consumed with hatred for our family. My prayer and hope for her is that she will realize that she has a family who loves her dearly and that anger and resentment are stealers of precious time that she could be spending with her family making happy memories.

I don't know why I have been chosen to help bring our family together. I am not sure what I can do to restore the unity other than continue to seek help and guidance from the Lord.